make dressage worthy of the olympics

Let’s Make Dressage More Worthy of Being an Olympic Sport…

“Strictly Come Trotting!” That’s what they should call dressage. And the idea of it being an Olympic sport is utterly ridiculous.

I can appreciate that controlling a horse isn’t easy. And I didn’t get into dressage as a child myself because, well, football and tree climbing were far more accessible (and more fun!) for a child who didn’t happen to have a few spare ponies knocking around. So of course I can’t speak from personal experience on any level. But as a spectator who’s been dazzled by cycling, sprinting, long jumping, swimming, judo, boxing, hurdling, javelin, shot putt and should-be-physically-impossible gymnastic feats, dressage just seems entirely unworthy of being an Olympic sport.

Horse dancing. It’s just horse dancing. And they don’t even present the horses (the ones who are doing all the trotting all over the bloody place) with a medal. Hardly fair.

So I have a suggestion. Let’s make it more difficult for the rider thus potentially something that can stack up against the tough physical feats mentioned above. I  propose the following new rules:

  • Horses are to be replaced with wild lions
  • The lions should be proper massive!
  • Nobody can wear ridiculous outfits.

If we can arrange that, then I’ll watch with less cynicism.

Just sayin’.