That F***ing Money Supermarket Ad – And 9 Other TV Ads That Make Me Want to Poke Things in my Eyes Repeatedly

That F***ing Money Supermarket Ad – And 9 Other TV Ads That Make Me Want to Poke Things in my Eyes Repeatedly

The first time I saw that Money Supermarket ad, I thought it was genius. It was well done, memorable and quite funny. And I like the word ‘epic.’


Several weeks, scores of instances of the TV ad and many, many repetitions of a radio equivalent later and I hate the word ‘epic.’ I the word ‘ace.’ And I hate Brian. I really, really hate Brian.

Brian is a dic**ead. And I never want to see or hear of him again.

Which I suppose means that the Money Supermarket ad campaign has been entirely successful. For one, I remember the name of their penny pinching main character. And I remember how epic he felt when he saved money by comparing car insurance on Moneysupermarket.com.

Damn it.

That’s not the only infuriating (and therefore, I suppose, successful) TV ad that makes me want to poke sharp objects into my eyes over and over again. Here are 9 more!

Go Compare TV Ad

What is it about comparing car insurance that means it’s essential to have the most annoying ads on TV?

Warning: if you murder people, when you die you’re going to be sent for all eternity to a small room where you’ll be kept in the company of Epic F***ing Bryan and the Go Compare Opera singer.

There’s a reason not to kill people and stuff, right?

Sheila’s Wheels TV Ad


The one thing equally as annoying as Epic F***ing Brian and the Go Compare opera singer is…. the jingle from the Sheila’s Wheels ad.

I reiterate my earlier point about car insurance ads. Seeing a pattern emerging?

National Accident Helpline TV Ad

“I was walking through the reception and the floor was wet with no warning signs,” says poor Katy Freeman (who now has a spazzy leg but loads of money).

“I fell and seriously injured my knee. At first I as frightened that it might be very expensive to claim. But the National Accident Helpline were so helpful – they promised my case would be settled on a no win no fee basis.”

So, immediately after she falls she’s worrying about how much it might cost to make a claim? If it were me, I’d be more concerned about how much of a tit I just made of myself and the fact my make up is now sprawled a cross a warning-sign-free wet floor.

But don’t worry – the National Accident Helpline will make it all better on a no win, no fee basis out of the kindness of their own hearts (and that hefty fee they’ll get from the other side that will probably amount to more than poor Katy’s poorly knee compensation).

An annoying ad. But compared to the newer underdog National Accident Helpline ads, you could argue this wasn’t so bad ;-)

Wonga.com TV Ad

Now, aside from the fact that I have a real issue with all legal loan sharks payday loans companies, this ad is particularly annoying.

Firstly, these old (animated) folks are probably pensioners and therefore are probably on a low income. Lending to them 4,214% APR (I kid you not) probably isn’t wise, is it. And I also hate the way that Wonga plays this whole ‘no hidden charges,’ thing. Like that makes up for that fact that borrowing £100.00 at Wonga’s APR and failing to make any repayments would mean you amass the US National Debt in 7 years (according to Martin Lewis)!

We Buy Any Car TV Ad

Possibly the most annoying song ever (with exception of Paradise by Coldplay). But what’s more annoying is the fact you simply can’t forget it once you’ve heard it.

The morning I caught myself singing “we buy any car…. dot com,” in the shower at 7am into a shampoo bottle was perhaps the worst experience of my life. Ish.

118 TV Ads

I despise the 118 ads.

And who on Earth would ever ring a 118 service when all have the internet in our pockets?!?!

Match.com TV Ad

First of all, I apologise for the fact that the version above is even longer and more cringeworthy than the version you have probably seen on TV. I couldn’t find a shorter one.

The biggest issue I have with this ad isn’t the terrible song or even the vomit worthy sentiment behind it. No, my biggest gripe is the fact that this ad effectively tells people that if strangers start singing at you across a train station, you should go and sit next to them and consider the start of a wonderful relationship. In actual fact this will probably end in rape and murder. Probably.

I did warn you.

I’m not the only one concerned for the safety of girls potentially falling prey to a musical sex pest on their way to Wigan. John Hart agrees with me.

Direct Line TV Ad

Did you know the Direct Line refuses to be on price comparison websites?

Of course you f***ing did, because you have been having it rammed down your throat by three of TV advertising’s most annoyingly dull, bland characters in the middle of otherwise enjoyable prime time TV shows for months!!!

This ad doesn’t say to me “get cheap deals on your home insurance.” It says;

“The only people who buy insurance from Direct Line are annoying sh*ts.”

DFS TV Ad

DFS…. stop having f***ing sales!!!!!!!!!!