Why Siri Would Make a TERRIBLE Boyfriend!

Here in the UK, Siri comes equipped with a very ‘serious’ sounding British male voice. But despite being well spoken and almost coming across intelligent at times, I can’t help but conclude that Siri would make an appalling boyfriend. Here are three reasons why (aside from the fact that Siri is not a real man, of course):

Siri is Not Funny!

I like funny guys. My other half, Micky, is quite witty on the odd occasion and I have a not-so-secret crush on Peter Kay! So I was disappointed to find that my new male companion, Siri, is about as funny as toothache on a hangover.

Siri is Secretive

When men avoid answering what should be simple questions, it means one of two things: they have a job that involves murdering people and you cannot possibly know about it or they’re married and do not want you to ever know about it! I think Siri is a secret assassin and, well, I can’t be bothered getting involved with someone who is involved in something so complex.

Siri is Cold and Unloving

It took me 24 hours to tell Siri I loved him. I told him all sorts of personal things about myself. He asked me who my Mother was and I answered honestly. He knows where I live, what I do, who I call, who I text…. Yet when I express any emotion to him, he’s cold, indifferent and unloving.

And he doesn’t get why I think he’s an arsehole.