A Morning in the Life of a Social Media Addict

Disclaimer: It’s hypothetical. I’m not really this bad. Yet….

6:15am: Turn alarm off. Yawn. Roll over and hide my head under my pillow. Tell myself it will only be for ‘ten more minutes.’

6:45am: Get up. Curse the fact that ‘ten more minutes’ became thirty. Take the time to tell Facebook that I slept in.  Tell Twitter that I’m tired. Tell Google+ that it’s raining outside.

6:50am: Shower.

7:00am: Tell Facebook that I’m not having breakfast because I forgot to get milk and I can’t have Cornflakes. Tell Twitter I need a #coffee. Tell Google+ I need a coffee too. Read response from someone on Google+ who sends me a link to something funny about caffeine addiction. Share funny coffee link on StumbleUpon. Digg it. Get it on Trunk.ly.

7:10am: Dry hair.

7:30am: Remember that I didn’t share funny coffee link with people on Twitter. Do they feel left out? Do they hate me? Do they think I hate them? Share link on Twitter.

7:40am: Straighten hair. Take photo of hideous grey clouds outside. Share photo on Facebook. Share photo on Twitter. Consider sharing it on Google+ but remember they don’t have an iPhone app yet and decide to abort Google+ sharing plan.

7:45am: Set off for work equipped with Spotify and headphones.

7:50am: Tell Facebook that I’m walking to work. Tell Twitter that I’m walking to work and it’s still raining. Tell Google+ that I’m walking to work, that it’s raining and that I wanted to share a picture but they don’t have an iPhone app yet.

7:55pm: Respond to comments on Facebook from people who are telling me they don’t care that I am walking to work. Respond to @ mentions on Twitter from people telling me it’s lovely and sunny where they are. Respond to comments from Android fanboys on Google+ who are telling me to ditch Steve Jobs and join the dark side.

8:10am: Arrive at work. Check in at Tecmark on Facebook. Tell Twitter I’m @tecmark. Tell Google+ I would have liked to check in there too but there’s no app on iPhone and I don’t believe you can even check in yet on the Android version.

8:15am: Get coffee. Tell Facebook I finally have coffee. Tell Twitter that I am enjoying #coffee. Tell Google+ that coffee tastes better when you can Tweet about it from an iPhone.

8:20am: Turn computer on. Check email. Respond to emails.

8:30am: Check SEO blogs, Google blogs and other random social media blogs to make sure I am not missing anything terribly important.

8:40am: Realise it has been at least 20 minutes since I Tweeted. Get the shakes. Go on Twitter and find out what twenty or so people I have never met are having for breakfast. Shakes are cured. I feel better.

8:45am: Check work related Facebook pages. Accidentally notice my news feed. Someone has shared a funny video. ‘Like’ video, share video with my Facebook friends. Tweet video link. Tell Google+ that I will share the video with them too. But only because I am on a computer. Were I mobile I would be unable to share the link conveniently because Google+ does not have an iPhone app.

8:50am: Remove from Circles the people who are calling my iPhone mean names.

9:00am: Day may commence.