The Secret to Getting Twitter Followers is Golf and Adultery!!

Ever wanted to acquire 30,000 followers in an hour? Well, we have the answer. Nope, I’m trying to sell you some spam infested service whereby I line up my army of faceless bots (all incidentally ‘Tweeting’ automated messages from the same IP) to follow you.

What I am talking about is Tiger Woods. The Twitter account for @tigerwoods was opened over a year ago, but Mr Woods was obviously too busy wining and dining his mistresses playing golf to engage in the platform and the three Tweets on the account were dull and impersonal  “hey check out my site,” type things.

However, it seems he’s finally given in to temptation (again!) and decided to start using the platform personally. He Tweeted just today “What’s up everyone. Finally decided to try out twitter,” followed later by “Yep, it’s me. I think I like this twitter thing. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the love.” Yes, his first personal Tweet was just 5 hours ago and at the time of writing this post Woods has 144000 followers.

So say goodbye to all the strategies you thought you knew for attracting and keeping followers. It seems all you really need to do is play golf and sleep around.

Splendid.