5 Stalker-Like Tendencies Facebook Has Instilled in us ALL!

I’m not a stalker. Really, I’m not. That flasher style rain coat I have? It’s just for the rainy Manchester winters. And the binoculars I keep in my pocket… they’re for bird watching! Ok seriously, I don’t have a flasher coat or binoculars (yet). But whether you’re a grade A certified stalker pro or you’re really not, you’ve probably fallen victim to Facebook Stalking Syndrome. That is, you’ve acquired one or two habits that take ‘nosey neighbour’ to a whole new level….

Reading Public Disputes…. In Utter Fascination

We’ve all got at least one person on our friend list who insists on airing dirty laundry in public, right? In fact, thanks to Facebook you can probably find out who is sleeping with your next door neighbour’s husband quicker than you could have heard the argument through your wall. News travels and Facebookers love to gossip. I openly admit that if I see someone has a potentially argumentative or dramatic status, I go through and read the comments and quite enjoy the story unfolding! Yes, this is without doubt the virtual equivalent of my Nanna’s bad habit – putting a glass to the wall when the neighbours are fighting!

Photo Scouring

When you see someone has a new picture up do you go right through and look at the entire album? Do you think to yourself, “Bloomin’ ‘eck, she’s put some weight on since school,” or “His girlfriend’s alright looking… punching above his weight isn’t he?” See, once upon a time if you openly admitted to someone that you have been looking through photos of someone you haven’t seen for 20 years, including baby pics, holiday snaps and those of drunken nights out, you’d be classified as obsessive. Today, you can excuse this with one word: “Facebook.”

Checking up on the Ex

Unless someone has their privacy settings on “Fort Knox Mode,” you will be able to see some information about them even if you’re not on their friend list. Have you checked out your ex on FB lately? Even been tempted by a sneak peak just to see if they’re seeing anyone, if they have any new piccies up? Don’t lie now! 😉

Checking up on Next Week’s Date

Ok, personally I haven’t been ‘dating’ since I joined Facebook. I’ve been with my current other half for 7 years now (yes, since before I even joined FB) so I haven’t any personal experience of this. But I do have to laugh when friends talk to me about people they are going on a first date with at the weekend. Most of them will either show me the guy’s pics on Facebook and some of them even admit to having checked out his friends and/or family. Now, had my current boyfriend turned up on our first date telling me he knew all about my brother, my Mother and all my friends, I would have edged slowly to the door and filed a restraining order. Again, such behaviour can now be justified with the one magic word: “Facebook.”

Relationship Status Watching

When ‘in a relationship’ becomes ‘it’s complicated,’ you know it’s not good news. When ‘in a relationship’ turns into ‘engaged,’ you can be pretty sure that dishy guy who works in your building is off the menu and then you get to go and tell your friends about it…. if they don’t already know! Yes, thanks to Facebook we know about breakups, make-ups, two timing and everything in between quicker than ever before. In one particular case I can mention, a male acquantance of mine broke up with his other half by changing his status to single…. rather out of the blue. Evidently it was then the job of her friends to let her know she was single! Harsh, to say the least.

But I admit it. If I see someone has a change in status, I do go nosey at their profiles. It’s not just me that does that though, is it? 😉

And while we are on the topic of stalking…. one of my absolute all time favourite performance poems: